throwing the onion into whatever it is that I am cooking. But, then I would have ICK in whatever I was cooking. And being the foodie that I am, one who loves to show people "the love" by cooking them an incredible meal and 'art on a plate', I would never allow that. Yet, it would be so easy to just skip over that part in my life....if I could. While details are important in cooking and IN LIFE, if truth be told, I would really just like to be able to not deal with it right now, possibly ever. Especially since dealing with them drudges up a lot of past hurts, past issues and things that require me to face a lot of things and people, I would rather not have to face.

There are so many areas in my life that have required healing. And, oh, how I wish the healing process could be instant. However, it is not. And besides that would not be best. I have learned over the years of enjoying my hobbie of cooking that a home-cooked meal is so much better than fast food at Mickey D's. Not to mention part of the enjoyment of the meal is the process involved in planning and preparing it. I wish that I could get to the place of realizing that healing in our hearts, our relationships, every area of our lives is just the same. The hurts didn't happen overnight, neither can they be healed instantly. The process will take a while. And quiet often, much longer than we would have imagined or would wish.

I have also learned a lot about forgivness. A friend shared this information with me a while back and I am glad I found it because I needed to read it again.

What is a definition for forgiveness?

A definition for forgiveness could be -- giving up my right to hurt you, for hurting me. It is impossible to live on this fallen planet without getting hurt, offended, misunderstood, lied to, and rejected. Learning how to respond properly is one of the basics of the Christian life.

There is confusion about what is involved with forgiveness. Forgiveness is not saying that things are okay now, and then going back into an abusive situation. It is not letting someone off the hook by saying, “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Some people think that forgiveness is unconditional love with no boundaries or accountability. It is not. Forgiveness is not denial that a hurtful situation exists, and it isn’t denying the fact that your feelings are hurt. And forgiveness does not mean you accept the person’s behavior.

What does God say about forgiveness?

The Bible gives us much instruction when it comes to forgiveness.

We forgive because we have been forgiven by God (Ephesians 4:32).
We forgive in obedience to God (Matthew 6:14-15; Romans 12:18).
We forgive others to gain control of our lives from hurt emotions (Genesis 4:1-8).
We forgive so we won’t become bitter and defile those around us (Hebrews 12:14-15).

I think that is where I was hung up (and in talking with many friends where they have gotten hung up, too). Restoration. Forgivness doesn't mean restoration. But if a relationship is not restored this doesn't mean that you haven't forgiven.

As well, as long as you are right in heart before God in the specific situation that is what matters. People may not get it. They may not understand the process, what God is doing, or the decisions that you (and loved ones) have made. They may infact push back on you and cause more grief in the middle of the 'peeling' process. Which, as you might expect, makes the process longer.

So, all of this to remind myself that just as in cooking, life takes time. Healing takes time. Growth takes time. I would much rather a slow-cooked roast covered in spirals of onion rings carmelized and delicious, than a piece of beef that tastes like an dried out sponge. Good food takes time. This journey that I am on takes time. Just when I complete one leg of the journey, I will begin another one.